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Welcome to my inner sanctum. I am, as my cousin LuAnn so nicely put it, a "born again, founding fathers, conservative." I am opinionated and you are apt to find anything on this page.

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Monday, March 18, 2013

The Awakening



Several months ago we relocated from Southern California to the small town of Atoka, Oklahoma.  At the time, it seemed like an innocuous move of small relevance, but for a cynical man such as I have been all my life, a move to the “bible belt” was anything but casual and one small change did occur in my life shortly after our move here.  It is no exaggeration to say that my church attendance during my previous 20 years could be accounted for on the fingers of one hand but we were soon invited by Lynn to attend services at the Baptist Church in the nearby community of Lane.  The church was ministered by Pastor John Howard.  Pastor Howard is an engaging speaker whose sermons embody the flavor of “that old time religion” and I found myself returning week after week to hear him speak.  It was incredible, I had attended church no more than three times in the past 10 years and here I was returning for four consecutive weeks!
When we first arrived in Atoka, I was immediately immersed in the cattle business with my cousin Richard whose entire life had been immersed in what I considered biblical fantasy.  Richard is a highly trained minister of the gospel and had been a chaplain in the Army.  I suffered Richard’s bible thumping manner with a little chagrin and large doses of ridicule leveled at his childlike interpretation of biblical events.
Richard’s efforts to enlighten me were met with fierce resistance.  I had unassailable answers for everything and could not be moved by his best efforts.  “I know God,” I told him “and I don’t need to be saved.”  This was the state of our relationship on that fateful morning of March 10, 2013.  That Sunday started out like any other day.  I was up at 4:00 a.m. for our usual 5:00 o’clock meeting at the local McDonald’s restaurant with many other of the local cattlemen.  We usually spent a couple of hours drinking coffee before we headed out to feed the cattle at about 7:00 a.m..  It was a daily ritual that rarely saw any variation.  What was different on Sundays was the fact that Richard conducted Sunday services at one of the local prisons and that prevented him from accompanying me to feed the cattle.  On this Sunday, Frank would help me with the feeding.
By 9:00 a.m. Frank and I had finished feeding the herd and I drove him back to his “spread” on the other side of town.  Frank said all was well when I left his place, but that was soon to change.  My life was about to careen off in a direction I never suspected, and things would never be the same for me again.  It was only about five minutes from Frank’s place to my home, but in that short span of time my world would be turned upside down!  I remember pulling up in my driveway, removing my hat and looking into it and that’s when it happened.  I know of no other way to describe the dark ominous feeling that overwhelmed me other than to say it felt like what I imagined a demon possession to be like!  I was frightened by it and rushed into the house to get my wife’s opinion.  When I walked in, I did not have to say anything.  She took one look at me and asked “what in the world has happened to you”?  I told her that I thought I had just been demon possessed!  “Do you want to go to the hospital”? she asked.  “No” I said, “I want to go to church.”  Somehow, I managed to pull myself together long enough to make it to the Lane Baptist Church and delivered myself to Pastor John Howard.  I remember standing with him and he was looking directly into my eyes.  I was thinking at the time, does he see me or does he see the demon that had overtaken me?

After services, Gail and Richard took me to the hospital in Atoka and I was soon on a medivac helicopter being transported to “Mercy Hospital” in Oklahoma City.  I woke up two days later and spent a total of five days in the intensive care unit that included two MRI’s, two CAT Scans and a spinal tap before I was released.  I am still meeting with a brain surgeon this coming Thursday for a final analysis but as far as I am concerned, the verdict is in and what happened to me on that Sunday morning was nothing short of a miracle.  In one startling episode God’s truth was revealed to me and my eyes were opened.  Nothing was the same, not the people around me or the places I knew.  I now understand things that I used to scoff at and, as my grandson Caden told me on the day I returned home, I know that “Heaven is Real.”
I am still reeling from the events of the past week and probably will be for some time to come but I can assure the reader that I have been led to the Lord in a most extraordinary fashion.  I now wonder how I could have possibly survived my previous existence and the words of Hank Williams ring in my ears more clearly than they ever have before.
“I wandered so aimless
Life filled with sin.
I couldn’t let my dear savior in
Then Jesus came like a stranger in the night
Praise the Lord I saw the light.”

“I saw the light, I saw the light
No more darkness, no more night
Now I’m so happy no sorrow in sight
Praise the Lord, I saw the light.”

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